I wait in the dark cold room chuckling to myself as I stare at my pretty hatchet. The Hatchet glistens as the light pours in from the front door.

"They've brought me more," I think to myself.

I pay no attention though because my hatchet gets jealous if I leave it alone for too long. When the men in the green truck come then the voices start. It's just my knives and axes and hatchets screaming out to be used.

"Pick me!" screams the butcher knife.

"No! Me!" interrupts the machete.
"Now, now children you'll all have a turn," I whisper soothingly.I step into the light making sure the agreement has been filled. All my ladies are here fat ones, short ones, medium sized and even different colours sometimes. I grab 4 or 5 and pull them in. The sound of disagreement surfaces along with the deafening plea of sharp metal objects.

"Use me! I am ever so sharp," screams my axe.

I pick it up and examine the curve carefully, I drag my nail along it which causes the nail to split open.

"Perfect." I say to myself as I raise the axe over my head and strike down cutting. Through the skin rupturing the artery, blood splashes on my face but I keep chopping. First the stomach and then the rump everything must be cut with my pretty axe or the voices don't stop. I am covered in blood and the entrails and guts litter the floor. I wrap up the remains and put it on the shelf in the front I repeat this process until no one is left.The voices stop. I rest after cleaning up the blood because cleanliness is godliness and mother always told me to put my toys away when I'm done with them. I sit in my rocking chair and wait for the afternoon to come. I step out of my cellar and go outside.

I look at the town before me, breathe in the cool refreshing air and yell:

CRAZY JOE'S BUTCHER SHOP OPEN FOR BUSINESS!

You still want to eat meat?